THE NAUGHTY YOUNG MAN
 
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'Pon my soul I'm so dreadfully naughty,
I'm always at some naughty act.
I don't want to startle you ladies,
By stating so well-known a fact.
In confidence, mind it's a secret,
You'll keep it, I know ladies can,
I am, oh! I am, though I say it,
I am such a naughty young man.

Chorus: 'Pon my life now, I'm dreadfully naughty,
Oh, so naughty, very naughty;
And the ladies 'twixt sixteen and forty,
Say I am such a naughty young man.

I once took my grandma to Greenwhich,
She paid for the shrimps and the tea,
But then we gay, naughty, young fellows,
Do love so a deuce of a spree!
We didn't get home 'til past seven,
The evening was growing quite dark,
Mamma was so anxious about us,
But then we fast boys love a lark.

SPOKEN... I was always of a fast turn of mind. I go in for glorious dissipation, keep white mice and silk-worms, the silk-worms are very fast too. I met one of them on the stairs this morning, ha! ha! I love a joke, but then...

Chorus:

I've a cousin and she's uncle's daughter,
I took her out once for a walk,
You'd really have thought we were lovers,
To judge from our looks and out talk;
She into a pastry-cook's took me,
And I had two tarts and an ice,
And that, you'll admit's, dissipation,
And filling besides at the price.

SPOKEN... I made a splendid joke in the shop, when they opened the lemonade and the cork popped, I said, 'That's popping the question.' and she said, 'Oh! you naughty young man...

Chorus:

At 'Kiss in the ring' I'm considered,
A naughty young man for the work,
And at that fast game 'Hunt the slipper'
They call me a terrible turk.
At Christmas the ladies avoid me,
'Cos under the mistletoe bough,
I once kissed the eldest Miss Wilkins,
And didn't I get in a row!

SPOKEN... Yes, she was a devilish handsome woman too. Passed, perhaps eight and fifty, but they like it, Sir, we gay naughty dogs you see, ha! ha! The other night I went to the pit of the theatrs and in the crowd my two arms found themselves forced round two ladies waists, for shame! but then...

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Frank W. Green & Alfred G. Vance
Performed by Alfred (The Great) Vance (1838-1888)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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