THE NEW PERJARMA HAT
 
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A sixpenny'appeny cap it used to suit me
And suit me very 'andy at the price
And as regards a 'bowler' of a Sunday
I couldn't drink no beer it looked so nice
But now-a-days you 'ave to study fashion
And whether you're a cabby or a clerk
To be wivout the latest thing in 'cadies'
Is nigh as bad as being out of work.

Chorus: When the sun is shining, if yer want to shine
Off wiv caps and bowlers and wear an 'at like mine
Never mind yer wentilated boots
Yer dirty necks or anyfink o' that
You can walk about with yer elbows out
But you must 'ave a new perjarma 'at.


It used to be 'Who sneaked the donkey's dinner?'
Or else, 'Who robbed the mongrel of 'is bed?'
To go an put a stror 'at on yer napper
Was just like putting trouble on yer 'ead
But now its got the fashion for to wear 'em
There ain't no knowing where it's going to stop
I'm told that mine 'ud suit me all the better
If I had my 'yers' a-sticking through the top.

Chorus:

My missus, wot's a liitle bit old fashioned
Won't 'ave as it's intended for a 'at
But says as it 'ud do to strain the greens in
Or make a bed for our old Thomas Cat
And then, of course, there's them what's jealous of me
And offers me a carrot as they pass
They say I ought to wear a nose-bag with it
And asks me when I'm going out to grass.

Chorus:
 
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Performed by Gus Elen (1862-1940)
 
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