A NICE, QUIET WEEK
 
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Wilkins, and Winks and Binks, and I feeling our nerves were undone
Holiday-making thought we'd go, far from the booze of London
'Better go down to Kent' says Binks 'Beautiful place _ suit nicely
Couldn't get booze down there, you know, - pubs shut at ten precisely.'
Piff-puff! piff-puff off we went by train
Nice quiet week's rest, that was our intent
When the town we 'struck' you know, we'd a drink for luck, you know
But - lor bless you - when we'd been an hour in Kent

Chorus: We were such rollicking, frolicking, devil-me-care young bladies
Kissing the nice young ladies - frightening prim old maidies
We threw the slop in the pond,
And we jumped on the old men's cadies
No mistake, there's nothing like a nice quiet week


Up at the nearest Inn we put, finding it nice and handy
Ordering in the smoke-room lots of cigars and brandy
Each had a score of drinks, or more, plenty of fun and laughter
Using the empty bottles for breaking the windows after
Wilkins, he got into awful strife
But for our cheek, he'd have lost his life
Potman found that star, you know, hid behind the bar, you know
Swearing love eternal to the landlord's wife.

Chorus:

When they brought in their only slop, right to a man we whopped him
Collared him in our clutch, you know, into the horse-pond dropped him
Then, with a 'One, two, three' we fled, half of the town behind us
Silly attempt! They caught us quick - put us in goal to mind us
Next day - oh dear! 'cause we broke the laws
How stern - how sharp Mr Justice was
'As you came to seek, my friends, just a quiet week my friends
You shall have one each upon our mill, because,

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by J. P. Harrington & Geo. Le Brunn - 1894
Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
 
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