NINE INCH NAILS
 
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Johnson, a commercial travellor, was a pushful man,
He pushed his goods as only a commercial travellor can.
He had a special line and it was ironmongery,
And everywhere he went he always murmered hopefully:

Chorus: Oh you don't know nobody what don't want to buy no nine inch nails?
They do go in, not half they won't, they do make holes, not half they don't.
I served the King, the Queen, the Ace, also the Prince of Wales!
But you don't know nobody what don't want to buy no nine inch nails?


Once he met a motorist who'd had an accident.
All the road was strew'd with tin tacks, all his tyres were bent.
Some broken bottles lay around, the poor chap's luck was out.
Said Johnson, "Here's where I come in!" and then he began to shout:

Chorus:

Johnson started courting; quite a pretty girl was she.
He couldn't pop the question for a nervous man was he.
They'd sit together in the park and while the hours away.
Instead of a proposal this is all he'd ever say:

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by H M Burnaby
Performed by Jay Laurier (1879-1969)
 
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