NOT THERE!
 
Jessie Albini
 
In an omnibus, one evening, I was going for a ride,
All day long it had been raining, so the 'bus was full inside.
One young fellow said, 'Sit down, Miss.' and he pointed to his lap;
I said, 'I would like to sit down but my darling, dear old chap,

Chorus: Not there! not there! no thank you, sir, not there;
I know that you are kind and nice but mother gave some good advice,
Of young men's knees you always should beware;
Though fellows' laps look tempting, p'raps, not there! my child, not there, Not there.

Once a youth took me to Brighton for a half-day by the sea,
And when we got to the platform thought he'd ride alone with me;
'Here's and empty first-class carriage.' said my bright particular,
I said, 'Thank you, no, I'll get in where the other people are.

Chorus: Not there! not there! no thank you, sir, not there;
I know that you are kind and nice but mother gave some good advice,
Of special firsts, you always should beware
(Your dear mamma knows what men are) Not there! my child, not there!'

It has been as good as settled, I shall marrie Charlie Brown,
As we're fond of one another it's quite time we settled down;
When he talked of honeymooning I gave him a knowing glance,
'Come,' he said, 'we'll go to Paris.' I said, 'Eh! what! naughty France!

Chorus: Not there! not there! no thank you, sir, not there;
I know that you are kind and nice but mother gave some good advice,
Of La Belle France you always should beware,
What the ladies do would not suit you, Not there! my child, not there!'

When we first began our courting, Charlie met me on the sly,
And the moonbeams were the gaslight that we did our spooning by;
But one day he said, 'Meet me in the meadows by the stile,
When the stars are twinkling darling.' then I answered with a smile.

Chorus: Not there! not there! no thank you, sir, not there;
I know that you are kind and nice but mother gave some good advice,
Of rustic stiles you always should beware,
Don't be too bold, you might catch cold, not there! my child, not there!'

 
div
 
Written by J.P. Harrington & Bennett Scott - 1898
Performed by Jessie Albini
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ