NUGGETS
 
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Now, I'll sing a little ditty, with a beautiful refrain,
When you've listened so it once, I'll swear you never will again ;
It's not. 'Ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay' or 'Wink the other eye,'
Or the 'Song that reached my heart' and very nearly made me cry :
But it's about my family troubles, in our " Cottage By The Sea.'
What with the missus and the nippers, I’rn right off my N. U. T.
For there's all their dirty boots to clean, their hair to brush and comb.
And yet 'My old Dutch ' 'vows I've 'All The Comforts Of A Home.'

Chorus: And you should hear her whistling,
Dilferent kinds of whistling,
'We are a merry family, from Sarah Jane to John,
Father, mother, sister, brother, Kate, and Uncle Tom,'
And they all take after me,
And they all take after me
Father, father there's all the kids a-howling,
'Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A bow-wow, bow-wow,
'Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A bow-wow,
So they wore a Worried look,
They wore a worried look.

'Young Men Taken In and Done For, I never thought that she,
The girl I left my happy home for, would have fairly done for me.'
For “She's The Boss And I'm The Slavey,” there is not the slightest doubt,
For 'She Changed My Boots For A Set Of Jugs' when I wanted to go out.
Last night I thought I'd try and part her hair with 'arf a brick,
I was stealing up behind her, singing “Gently Does The Trick.'
When she brought the copper-stick and two flat-irons to the charge,
Saying there’s 'Two Lovely Black Eyes' for you", and
'They're All Very Fine And Large.'

Chorus: 'And She's A Respectable Lady, a highly respectable lady
'Twiggy Voo, My Boys, Twiggy Voo,
Well, of course, it stands to reason that you do.'
'And I asked her if she'd marry me,' but all that she would say was,
'Rats, rats,' 'That is love, that is love;'
'But after the chaff was over. after her fun was done,
The maiden divine put her sweet lips to mine
And said, Yum, yum, yum.'

Take my tip, boys, 'Never Introduce Your Donah To A Pal,‘
For 'I did it only once" and then of course he sneaked my girl,
And he's 'Such A Werry Nice Man Too, he calls his mother, ma'
‘But since he’s come into his brass, " 'E Dunno Where 'E Are‘
“He's All Right When You Know Him,” but now really to be just.
You should never judge a sausage by his overcoat at fust.
Now, I owed three quarters’ rent and when I tried to shoot the moon,
'My Old Dutch' said, “ God Save the Queen " and " Oh! let. it been soon,' for

Chorus: 'Hush! hush! hush! Here Comes The Brokers Man,
He wants the chairs and tables but we’ll stop him if we can;’
So 'The brick came down' and copped him on the cruet.
And 'Then the band played.' and “ Up to the moon he bunked.”
'And we drew his club money this morning,'
'And the verdict was "
'Oodid-ley, oo did'ley, oodle, oodle oo,
Oodid-ley, oo did'ley, oodle, oodle oo'

When the band commenced to play, 'Ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay,'
'Then he died, he died.'
'While fighting with the Seventh Royal Booziliers,
Slinging cans of beer at their granny-dear,'
But I must 'Bunk a doodle I do, bunk a doodle ay;
Always do as I do, never be a jay.'
So, 'Then, I say, boys, who‘lI have a drink with me?'
For 'The anchor's weighed, the anchor's weighed,
Farewell, farewell, remember "
'The Man That Broke The Bank At Monte Carlo"

 
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Written and composed by Charles Scott - 1893
Performed by Charles Vincent
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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