OH, GIRLS! WHAT AM I TO DO WITH IT?
 
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Last evening I'd an awful fright
Enough to make my hair grow white
It's sad the way I meet misfortune's stings
I'd asked a sweet young friend of mine out to 'Monico' to dine
So went upstairs to change my shirt and things
A parcel from the laundry there, was lying in my easy chair
But, horror, when the things I did unpack
I found instead of shirts and hose a lot of ladies underclothes
Now they decline to take the parcel back.

Chorus: Oh, girls, what am I to do with it?
Come on Maudie, Jane or Emma
Help me out of my dilemma
Oh Girls, the finest chance for months
Required, a lady to fit the clothes
Now don't all speak at once!


I have a birthday once a year
Today, I'm twenty one. Dear, dear
How old I'm getting, don't you think so, girls
And lots of presents came to me
From nice young ladies princip'ly
They love their Georgie Porgy - bless their curls
But one old thoughtful aunt of mine
Whose husband's in the 'Maple' line
She wrote, 'I've sent you something really class.'
Thought I'd nowhere to lay by head
So she sent me a feather bed
Also a five foot bedstead, brass.

Chorus: Oh, girls, what am I to do with it?
Come on Maudie, Jane or Emma
Help me out of my dilemma
Oh Girls, the finest chance for months
Required, a lady to share my lot
Now don't all speak at once!


What's that? a parcel there for me
Now what the dickens can it be?
I wonder who has sent it? Just enquire
But stay! I see a label here
It's all right! it's for me. Dear, dear
A lady's writing - 'Johnny Jones, Esquire.'
'With Flossie's compliments,' it says
No wonder I am all amaze
For who the deuce is Flossie? I don't know
Let's look and see what I have got
It's something nice, you bet. Great Scott!
Now, I'm a virtuous bachelor, and so
(Produces property baby)

Chorus: Oh, girls, what am I to do with it?
Come on Maudie, Jane or Emma
Help me out of my dilemma
Oh Girls, the finest chance for months
Required, a motherly kind of girl
Now don't all speak at once!
 
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Written and composed by J. P. Harrington & George Le Brunn - 1904
Performed by George Lashwood (1963-1942)
 
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