OH! JERU-JERI-JEROZALEM
 
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Schenacerib Macintyre once called a man a liar,
So he got a salute from a hob-nailed boot,
That waltzed him into the fire;
Now in his trousers pocket was a new explosive rocket,
It gave a fizz, started biz,
Now nobody knows where Schenacerib is.

Chorus: Oh, Jerusalem, up the cracker blewz-a-lem,
Made a hulla-bal-oozalem,
Showed him who was who-za-lem,
It bunged him up the flue-za-lem,
Burnt his hal-amagoo-za-lem,
He went thro'-za-lem to find the new Jer-us-a-lem,
There's a lovely chorus.

Timothy Dunaboo once saved a quid or two,
So he took a trip on board a ship,
Across the ocean blue.
He felt so gay and frisky, till they reached the bay of Biscay,
Then the winds did blow, the ship let go,
And so did Timothy, who-a heave ho!

Chorus: Oh, Jerusalem, the waves were such a size-a-lum,
The whiskey and the pies-a-lem,
All began to rise-a-lem,
Timothy shut his eye-a-lem,
Murmered, 'Let me die-sa-lem',
Jumped into the tide-a-lem, that's the way he died-a-lem,
Glory Hallelujah!

Nebucadnezzar Moore, joined a militia corp,
They gave him a gun that weighed a tonne,
And sent him off to the war.
When he got on the spot-o, a forty pound shot-o,
The end did blow off his boco,
And the enemy cut off his big toe.

Chorus: Oh, Jerusalem, up the doctor goes-a-lem,
Gets the end of his nose-a-lem,
Stuck it on his toes-a-lem,
Then he got his toes-a-lem, stuck it on his toes-a-lem,
Now wherever he goes-a-lem,
If he wants to blow his nose-a-lem,
He has to take his boot off.

 
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Written, composed and performed by Tom Woottwell (1864-1941)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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