OH! MISTER WHAT'S-ER-NAME
 
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You've only got to look and you're bound to guess my name is Mary Brown
A week or two back - well, I started off to see the sights of town
When in the train a gentleman - a thoughtful kind of chap
Insisted all the way he'd hold my bundle on his lap
When we got to our destination, on the station, what a sight
The crowds they quite bewildered me, I shouted in my fright,

Chorus: Oh! Mister What's-er-Name, don't let me ask in vain
Oh! Mister What's-er-Name, don't get out of the train
Look at all the people they fill me with alarm
You can let go of my bundle, but don't let go of my arm.


I told him I never had left before our little lonely farm
And as he was wiping my tears away, I clung more to his arm
He said, 'A girl like you should never be let out alone.'
And then I seemed to kind of faint, and heard him say, 'My own.'
Then he said, 'I must get some brandy, just to moisten darling's throat.'
And as he started for the door, I said, and grabbed his coat,

Chorus:

The carriage that we were a-riding in, I want you all to know
He bought, and he's had it turned into such a lovely bungalow
The banns are up, the ring is bought, the 'sardine's on the toast'
I played the game, the race is won, I'm well in at the post
Simple girls, when you're in a railway train, don't be in haste to leave
And if there is a gent with you, just have this up your sleeve,

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by by Fred Murray & Kenneth Lyle (1907)
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
 
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