OH, THE MODELS
 
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My wife is most peculiar, her notions they are high
And nothing pleases her so much as dwelling near the sky
A room that overlooks St Pauls, or else the Monument
She'd snap at in a 'tick' and never study as to rent
We live in 'Model Buildings at the tip-top of the block
And climbing up and down those stairs I fairly got the knock
Imagine, when you come home tired, you gaze up in the gloom
See ten good flights of stairs to climb before you reach your room.

Chorus: Oh, the 'Models', they upset all the noddles
Of those who chance to live in them ten flights high
A prize they weekly give if you find out where you live
In the 'Models' they are building to the sky.

There's a parachutist come to live upon our very flight
And from his window practises his lofty drops each night
We view the 'busses' in the street, they look like little toys
The River Thames looks like a pond, and men like tiny boys
They bring the faggots up at eight, but though I start at five
I barely manage to get down the stairs as they arrive
And sometimes it's a splendid night when I am down below
But high up on our window-ledge there's half a foot of snow.

Chorus:

The landlord calls round for the rent, and sometimes it's a treat
He never ventures up the stairs, he's rocky on his feet
You see him making motions like a man who's deaf and dumb
Informing us by signs that he round for his 'brass' has come
We always try to pay our rent, and as a frequent thing
The 'missus' lets the rent book and the 'oof' down by a string
And should we have a tanner that's just a little bent
He's always pleased to get it if it's sent down with the rent.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by George Lyons & Harry Randall - 1891
Performed by Harry Randall (1857-1932)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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