THE OIL SHOP
 
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Last Easter Monday I went out and took a trip to Kew,
'Twas there I met the darling girl of whom I'll sing to you;
We first met on the steam-boat and I felt my heart go whop,
When she told me her name and then described her father's shop.

Dialogue : And never will I forget the business manner in which she described it and near as I can recollect the stock consisted principally of :

Chorus: Soap, starch and candles, Flander's brick and turpentine,
Pepper, glue and mustard; colza oil and scent;
Black-lead and clothes line, treacle, peas and British wine,
Colours mixed for painting and pots and brushes lent.

We saw them play 'kiss in the ring' so we joined in the scene,
She always threw her glove for me to chase her round the green;
And when I caught her, oh! what bliss, to span her slender waist,
But when I kissed her then, I thought what joy such lips to taste.

Dialogue : All but one thing and that was when I kissed the fair creature, I fancied I could detect the slight flavour of the :

Chorus:

When night closed in I walked her home, it wasn't very far,
When we arrived she introduced me to her pa and ma;
I said I hope you both are well and then I heaved a sigh,
And hoped that we all one day should be joined by a closer tie.

Dialogue : And then I heaved another sigh, but those sighs one feel so queer, for I not only inhaled the odour of the size but I had the full flavour of the stock and I was not used to the united odour of :

Chorus:

But now I'm used to all the smells for I spend lots of time,
Behind the counter for I know it will all, one day, be mine;
Last weeks the old folks gave consent, now all my fears are fled,
For next week ends my single life, I shall be a married man instead.

Dialogue : Yes, a married man and a shopkeeper, so now, as business is business, allow me to solicit your custom when you take the missus to market and I can rely upon the futer patronage of the ladies, for it shall ever be my study to sell the very best :

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by B.J. Dallas - 1873
Performed by Herbert Campbell (1844-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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