ONE AT A TIME
 
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Our Jane is so conceited, and wherever she may go
She makes a big sensation, she's so lovely, don't you know
Some time ago we called upon a lady friend of mine
A girl with several brothers, well, there's either eight or nine
A saucy lot of boys they are, they're up to ev'ry game
And as soon as they heard that Jane was in the parlour, up they came.

Chorus: One at a time, one at a time
Into the room they came with a smile
All the lot of them, single file
When they saw Jane, oh it was sublime
They started kissing her, none of them missing her
Kissing her one at a time.

Her young man chanced to hear about the conduct of the boys
So round he went to see them, and he kicked up such a noise
They had to fetch a p'liceman, but he couldn't stop the din
The young man got so violent they had to run him in
Then to the station off went Jane to plead for his release
And as soon as they heard her silvery voice
You ought to have seen the p'lice.

Chorus:

They listened to her pleadings, and they let the young man go
But in a rage he gave her up 'twas such an awful blow
Jane felt annoyed - most awfully so, the fact I must confess
And when old Jones proposed to her at once she answered 'Yes.'
Last Wednesday was the wedding day, and when the job was done
Old lovers of hers in the vestry flocked, Yes, ev'ry blessed one.

Chorus:

When Jane got home she found the wedding breakfast nicely laid
But ere she started eating it her husband called the maid
Said he, 'Bring up the children, please.' Jane said, 'Bring up the what?
Don't say that you have a family, John, you told me you had not!'
Said he, 'I quite forgot the fact - with love my heart was warmed
You're the mother of sixteen boys and girls!'
Next moment in they swarmed.

Chorus:
 
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Performed by Marie Loftus (1857-1940)
 
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