When you pick up the Sunday morning papers
It's nearly always trouble that you read
Man and wife, always ‘aving strife
For separation each of them will plead
Now if the woman only used a bit of tact
With ‘appiness they always would be blessed
Do the same as I do and you'll never ‘ave a row
Believe me, my old man's one of the best

Chorus: I wake him every morning when the clock strikes eight
I'm always punctual, never, never late
With a nice cup of tea and a little round of toast
The Sporting Life and the Winning Post
I make him nice and cosy, then I toddle off to work
I do the best I can
For I'm only doing what a woman should do
‘Cos he's only a working man

I ‘urry home each day and cook the dinner
And give it to ‘im nice and ‘ot in bed
It's nice to know when to work I go
‘E's always thinking of me, so ‘e said
“E lies in bed so patiently till I come ‘ome to tea
I wouldn't ‘ave him vexed at any cost
And if ‘e backs a loser, never says an angry word
‘Cos I give ‘im back the money that ‘e lost

Written and composed by Rule & Holt
Performed by Lily Morris (1882-1952)
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