OO-DIDDLEY-OO!
 
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It's very, very hard when all that you can say
Is Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo;
I really once did know a man who was built that way,
With his Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.
He always was in trouble, for his tongue was twisted double,
Out his words would bubble bubble, what he meant nobody knew,
And the people round about would sarcastically shout,
'Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.'

Chorus: Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
It was always on his brain,
This most peculiar strain,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
.

He got boozed and hauled before the magistrate the other day,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo;
They asked him what he meant by it and all that he could say,
Was 'Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.'
So they fined him forty shillings, 'cos the copper he'd been 'milling'
Swore that he intended killing him, he'd kicked him black and blue.
Said he, 'My Lord, I'm sure I don't know what the fine is for.'
They said, 'It's for Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.'

Chorus: Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
So they give him six months hard,
And slung him down the yard,
For his Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo

The first week of marriage it is utter, utter bliss,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.
But when a year has passed away, your cooing sounds like this,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.
While the wife is soundly snoring, the baby keeps on roaring,
And the sweat from you is pouring, as 'sentry go' you do.
And the more you sing 'bye-byes' the more the baby cries,
With it's Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.

Chorus: Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
While the wife is sound asleep,
You are on your 'plates of meat',
Singing Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.

There's a pious lot of folk about, who roll their eyes and sing,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.
And they tell us that it's wrong to indulge in anything,
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.
There's Pecksniff and Mr. Stiggins, who consign you to the 'Dickens'
For your sins and for your swiggings, if you take a glass or two,
But catch 'em on the sly; when they fancy no-one's nigh,
And it's Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.

Chorus: Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo
They say they'll put down drink,
So they will, what do you think',
Oo-Diddley-oo-diddley-oodle-oodle-oo.

 
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Written and composed by Harry Starr - 1893 - Arranged by Henry E. Pether
Performed by Arthur W. Rigby (1865-1944)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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