Hurrah for the rates, the Parish rates, the Taxes merry and sweet
They fill my eyes with delicious surprise, those figures so nice and neat
I dance me gaily along the way I hurry me down the road
And sing 'All's well,' as I ring the bell at Mr Collector's abode.

Chorus: Then up with the flag, and tootle the flute
And beat on the sounding drum
Shout, shout for joy, let none be mute for Quarter Day had come.

Hurrah for the rate the Water Rate that comes but twice a year
If 'twould come four, or even more 'twould kill me with the bliss I fear
At times with a friend an hour I spend we sit by my tank of tin
And dear little soles and big tad-poles we catch with a bended pin.

Chorus: (as above)

Hurrah for the Tax, the Income Tax oh 'tis an invention great
I murmur each day to think I pay so little towards the State
Could I hear of a favoured sphere where Government took the lot
Away would I fly with jubilant eye to seek for that favoured spot.

Chorus: (as above)

Hurrah for the fog, the London fog that turns into night the day
I joyfully grope with spasms of hope when I find that I've lost my way
When it covers me up in a friendly style and gives me a cold in my chest
Then I sneeze and wheeze as much as I please and rejoice that I'm truly blest.

Chorus: Then tootle the flutes, the trumpets blow
Kerwollop the drums like mad
Far fain would I have the whole world know that I am an optimist glad.

Hurrah for the cats, the midnight cats that sing to the silver moon
I've wandered for miles discovering tiles where they keep up the good old tune
Let labour and grief both close their eyes decalring such strains annoy
I know no sounds in a musical form so brimful of jubilant joy.

Chorus: (as above)

Hurrah for the slush, the delicate slush that covers the roads with soup
When I find it invading my Oxford shoes I shew my delight with a whoop
I joyfully gaze at the splashes and spots that spatter me up to my knee
And when in the mud, I tumble down thud, I howl with hilarious glee.

Chorus: (as above)
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