OUT OF WORK
 
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Some weeks ago I thought, you know, I could do with a bit of a rest
So chucked my job and s'elp me bob, I don't think I acted for the best
Told the wife I'd got the sack, she called me nasty names
And said she wsn't going to stand not none of my artful games
'I'll find you something to do,' she said, and she looked at me and laughed
Well, talk of having a rest be-gosh, I wish I was back at my 'graft'.

Chorus: Out of work, out of work, it gives a fellow the needle
Stuck in the house from morn till night,
Working away with all my might
Wash the plates, clean the grates, sweep and scrub the floor
I'm working a jolly sight harder now than ever I did before.


The wife, you see, has 'rumbled' me. I'm done out of 'doing a mike'
And from the start she's made me smart by giving me jobs that I dislike
Five o' clock she has me up... she knows I like a snooze
I light the fire and have to clean the families boots and shoes
I get all the little ones washed and dressed and you ought to hear them howl
Sometimes I have to take off my shirt and use it instead of a towel.

Chorus: Out of work, out of work, it gives a fellow the needle
Rushing about to soothe the twins,
Fixing them up with safety-pins
Rub their gums with my thumbs, nurse them till I'm sore
I'm working a jolly sight harder now than ever I did before.


My eldest son, the bandy one, he gives me some terrible cheek
He thinks, d'ye see, he's keeping me, he's bringing in half a crown a week
I got mad with him today, and went to clout his head
He called his mother, she slapped my face, and sent me to make the bed
The others are disrespectful too and whenever I get the 'spike'
They tell me straight to my face that I can hop it as soon as I like.

Chorus: Out of work, out of work, it gives a fellow the needle
Slaving away for all the gals, Ironing out their falderals
Wash their clothes, goodness knows, I rub them till I'm raw
I'm working a jolly sight harder now than ever I did before.


I cook the grub, and dust and rub, and mend all the stockings and socks
Get out of breath and fagged to death by answering all the blooming knocks
Fetch the coals and chop the wood and hang the washing out
And they're always calling me a lolloping, lazy lout
The fellow that hears of a job for me'll be treated like a lord
With all my heart he can have my wife, simply by way of reward.

Chorus: Out of work, out of work, it gives a fellow the needle
Taking the children out for walks,
Cleaning the spoons and knives and forks
Off my chump, got the hump, losing flesh I'm sure
I'm working a jolly sight harder now than ever I did before.
 
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Performed by W.P. Dempsey
 
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