PADDY McGINTY'S GOAT
 
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Mister Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note
Came into a fortune, so bought himself a goat
Said he, 'Sure, of goat's milk I mean to have my fill
But when he got his nanny home he found it was a bill.

Refrain: And now all the ladies who live in Killaloo
Are all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath the petticoat
And leave the rest to providence and Paddy Mc Ginty's goat.

Missis Burke to her daughter said, 'Listen Mary Jane
Now who was the man you were cuddling in the lane
He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin.'
'Twas only Pat McGinty's goat,' she answered with a grin.

Refrain: Then she went away from the village in disgrace
She came back with powder and paint upon her face
She'd rings on her fingers and she wore a sable coat
You bet your life they never came from Paddy McGinty's goat.

Little Nora McCarthy the knot was going to tie
She washed all her trouseau and hung it out to dry
Then up came the goat and saw the bits of white
He chewed up all her falderals, and on her wedding night,

Refrain: 'Oh turn out the gas quick,' she shouted out to Pat
'For though I'm your bride, sure I'm not worth looking at
I've got two of everything I told you when I wrote
But now I've one of nothing all through Padyy McGinty's goat.

Mick Riley he went to the races t'other day
He won twenty dollars and shouted 'Hip- Hooray.'
He held up the note shouting 'Look at what I've got.'
The goat came up and grabbed at it and swallowed all the lot

Refrain: 'He's eaten my banknote,' said Micky with the hump
They ran for the doctor, he brought a stomach pump
He pumped and he pumped for that twenty dollar note
But all he got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat.

Sure, but ould Paddy's goat had a wondrous appetite
And one day for breakfast he had some dynamite
A big box of matches then he swallowed all serene
Then out he went and swallowed up a quart of paraffin.

Refrain: He sat by the fireside and didn't care a hang
He swallowed a spark, and then exploded with a bang
And when you go to heaven you can bet a dollar note
The angel who has the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat.

 
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Written and composed by The Two Bobs with R.P. Weston & Bert Lee - 1917
Performed by The Two Bobs
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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