THE PARK KEEPER
 
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Keep your seats and hold your breath, just listen half a tick
And I'll tell you who I am, behold the keeper of the Park
I pick up bits of papers and I stop the little capers
Of the couples when they're courting on the benches for a lark
Oh dear me, the sights I see, shock my morality
Take my tip, it wants a man of iron nerve to stand it after dark.

Chorus: All day, all day, I'm compelled to be
Keeping order by showing my authority
I poke them with my stick and shout move on
I know what I'm about
Any silly fool can let the people in
But I'm the chap to chuck 'em out.


Every morning all the nurse-maids faily worship me on the strict Q.T.
Bring me all the scraps intended for the duck
And when the band is playing you can bet I start off straying
Should I notice any nonsense well I give them one for luck
Wet or fine when the clock strikes nine, with this little bell of mine
Shout clear out and if I catch 'em loitering I give 'em all the chuck.

Chorus: All day, all day, I'm compelled to be
Keeping order by showing my authority
I poke them with my stick and shout move on
I know what I'm about
Any silly fool can let the people in
But I'm the chap to chuck 'em out.
 
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Performed by Little Tich (1867-1928)
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
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