THE PAVEMENT ARTIST
 
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Underneaf the railway arch not wery far away
I knows a pavement artist who draws pictures ev'ry day.
Wiv little bits o' coloured chalk 'e draws 'is ideas aht;
They look so real you're bankin' you can see 'em move abaht.
'E draws all kinds of eatables on plates all smokin' 'ot;
They make you feel quite 'ungry, you could eat the bloomin' lot.
In chalk 'e draws so lifelike you can almost 'ear 'em talk;
It's only when 'e rubs 'em aht you know they're done wiv chalk.

Chorus: An' it's all done on the pavement out o' doors.
It's a nat'ral gift with 'im that's my belief.
If 'e draws somebody's phizz,
You can still tell 'oo it is
By the writin' wot is written underneaf.

To watch 'im draw the schoolboys wery often plays the wag
And the postman stands an' quite forgets the letters in 'is bag.
The p'liceman wot is stationed at the corner of the street
Neglects to do 'is duty an' forgets 'e's on 'is beat.
'Is pictures are so nat'ral an' attractive to the eye
They turn the purple colour-blind when they're a-passin' by
'E never draws the same thing twice, 'e varies 'is displays,
And the view 'e draws tomorrow will be diff'rent to today's.

Chorus: An' it's all done on the pavement out o' doors.
It's a nat'ral gift with 'im that's my belief.
If 'e draws the king or czar,
You can still tell 'oo they are
By the writin' wot is written underneaf.

 
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Performed by Gus Elen (1862-1940)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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