THE PUNCH AND JUDY MAN
 
George Leybourne
 

You've heard of organ grinders and of men in German bands,
But I think you'll say my tale beats theirs, when my case you understands,
I'm a Punch and Judy artist and my fame is so well known,
That we all like old acquaintances, kind friends you'll surely own.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted rooty tooty Punch and Judy man.

'Twas at a fair I met her, she'd followers by the score,
She stopped so long before my box, I showed Punch o'er and o'er,
I made the figures say things and cut such funny capers,
That a notice of my show was in the country morning papers.

Chorus:

The fair was over, I went to a dancing booth close by,
The moment that I entered, a sweet voice said, 'Oh, my!'
I recognised that face, that voice, and felt quite in a tremor,
I asked her name, she blushed and said, 'It's Punch and Judy - ahen- Hemma.'

Chorus:

We danced together lots of times, my love I couldn't smother,
I said, 'Be mine, you angle you!' she said she'd ask her mother;
When a hagricultural looking chap, came frowning up to me,
And said, 'Now Punch and Judy, how dare you make so free.'

Chorus:

Said I, 'Perhaps you're her brother, so of course I ain't offended.'
'Her brother, Punch and Judy man,' said he, 'I'm her intended.'
I looked around, the girl had fled, I was chaffed both left and right,
So lost my temper, had a fight and got locked up all night.

Chorus:

I had to pay a heavy fine and so lost all my cash,
I lost my show, the country bumkins broke it all to smash;
And ever since that fatal day, tho' I've earned many a brown,
No more to country fairs I'll go, but stick to London town.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Robert Coote
Performed by George Leybourne (1842-1884)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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