PUT ME UPON AN ISLAND
 
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All the boys are longing to be put amongst the girls
Bless their little curls, they're all right are the girls
That's when they keep themselves as girls but very sad to state
There's some of them have got into a fighting mood of late
So when the woman of today comes near, let me be miles away

Chorus: Put me upon an island where the girls are few
Put me amongst the most ferocious lions in the Zoo
You can put me upon a treadmill and I'll never, never fret
But for pity's sake don't put me near a Suffragette


Now for instance let us take the fellow newly wed
The fellow newly wed, soon wishes he was dead
He'll walk around the town in such a sloppy sort of way
And to his dearest pal he hasn't got a word to say
So when the ladies gather near, you'll find your humble disappear

Chorus:

Just imagine how you'd look outside your cottage door
With children three or four, Dame Fortune may grant you more
Your wife she sits in 'Parliament' commanding prolonged cheers
While little Tommy's sticking jammy fingers in your ears
An angel I shall chose to be, the day that woman's called M.P.

Chorus:
 
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Written and performed by Will Letters (1877-1910)
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
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