PUT THE CHEESE AND BUTTER IN THE PANTRY
 
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Billy was a married man, anyone could tell
For Billy had a worried look, and other things as well
Billy drove a taxi-cab to earn his bit of pay
And very seldom reached his home until the break of day
Billy's wife, at ten o' clock, always went to bed
And left a note for Billy on the table, and it said,

Chorus: 'Put the cheese and butter in the pantry
Be sure you don't forget the kitchen light
Shut up the cat, be sure you see to that
And see the front door's fastened tight tonight all right
And be sure you wind the clock up in the parlour
And don't forget to cover up the bread
Don't wake up the canary, 'cos I think she's got the croup
Take off your muddy boots and come to bed.'


Billy found himself one night somewhere off the map
His petrol tank was leaking hard, it was a sad mishap
Billy sat and thought about his supper miles away
And wondered what his wife would say when he got home next day
Billy found his motor car still refused to 'mote'
So thought about his supper an the usual little note,

Chorus:

Billy drove a fare one night somewhere down in Kew
His fare had just been dining well and had, well - just a few
When they got to his abode, he said to Billy, 'Say
Come in and have a drink, old chap, it's my birthday today.'
Billy got back to his cab, and as he sped along
Was thinking of his darling wife, and sang this little song.

Chorus: Put the gas and butter in the parlour
Be sure that you wind up the kitchen light
Shut up the bread in the kennel in the shed
And see you chain the cheese up tight tonight all right
Be sure you hang the cat up on the dresser
Don't wake up the canary, 'cos it's dead
Be sure you have enough to drink, it's sure to do you good
And send your boots upstairs to me to bed.
 
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Written and composed by Fred Rome & Langton Marks - 1919
Performed by Fred Rome (b. 1874)
 
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