ROBERT, GO TO DINNER
 
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Your little Robert's found a job I'm very pleased to say
I'm working in a builders as a full-blown plumber's mate
The plumber I am working with, he's qualified I hear
I'm sure I don't know what'it's for, unless it's drinking beer
I start at six o'clock and go for breakfast about eight
I really think myself I'm on a winner
I go back to the job till one and all I do is work
And then me mate says 'Robert, go for dinner.'

We had to do a job in an Asylum yesterday
A girl strayed in where we were working, strange to say
She flung her arms around me mate, and said, 'At last we've met
Do you remember me sweethaert?' Me mate said, 'No. not yet.'
She said, 'Come sweetheart, let us romp, this is our wedding day
You must remember me, although I'm thinner.
Let's play at honey-pots or what you like, love'
But I said 'ooooh', And he said, 'Robert, go to dinner.'

We went to an escape of gas, I felt inclined to laugh
The way the lady talked, I thought 'An escape of gas' not half
She said, 'There's something more than gas that's smelling in this place
My mate said, 'All right lady, I'll investigate the case.'
She said, 'It's awful isn't it?' Me mate said, 'Yes, it is,
But I'll find out what it is, I'm no beginner.'
He looked all around till his eyes fell on my corduroys
Then softly whispered , 'Robert, go to dinner.'

No matter what the job may be we never make a fuss
We go to any job, that's if the job won't come to us
We over-hauled a boiler just about a week ago
Me mate said to the customer, 'It's dangerous, you know.'
The lady said, 'In what way is it dangerous, my man?'
Me mate said, 'Well I've never seen a thinner.
It might burst at any moment, Mum, and blow us all to bits.'
So I said to myself, 'Oi, Bob, go to dinner.'
 
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Recorded 1911 by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
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