ROBIN REDBREAST
 
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Have you ever seen a robin sitting on a tree?
My old gal will have it that is what I ought to be
Because I wear a red vest the colour of me nose.
It used to be a chest protector, goodness how it grows!
I'm all there when I'm strolling up the west;
The girls they come and tickle me and they stroke me on the chest
They make a reg'lar fuss of me and say I look a don.
I always get in trouble every time I put it on.

Chorus: But I never get the knock when the boys cry 'Cock
Cock cock cock! Cock Robin!'
In me old red vest I mean to cut a shine.
Walkin' up the street they call me 'Danger-on-the Line',
And the more they call me Robin Redbreast,
I'll wear it longer still.
I will have a red waistcoat, I will!
I will! I will! I will! I will! I will!

Well it comes in very handy so I've heard the Missus say;
She hangs it in the garden for to keep the cats away.
When she goes to bed at night she hangs it on the bed;
She likes to warm her feet against the lovely glowing red.
One foggy night I saw a building all alight;
A p'liceman he came running up to me with all his might.
Saw my red, a fire alarm was what he did require;
He punched my face, and pulled my nose and started shouting 'Fire!'

Chorus:

Some funny things have happened
I can tell you. What a fright!
Standing at the corner of a street the other night,
Waiting for a bus as I intended goin' south,
A fellow came along and he popped a letter in me mouth.
'I'm no letter-box,' I said. 'Remember that,'
Just as he was grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.
A postman 'e come on the scene, fairly up the pole,
He dropped his bag and stuck his key right in me buttonhole.

Chorus:

Once I took the missus for a ramble down a lane,
We had a row because I had the waistcoat on again.
While we both were arguing, a bull was coming by,
He saw the red, he looked at me and winked his other eye.
His tail went up and as he made a dash at me,
My old gal, for safety she was dodging round a tree.
Suddenly I thought of something - I must save my life,
I went and took my waistcoat off and popped it on the wife.

Chorus:

 
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Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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