THE ROMAN FALL
 
div
 
You've heard of the 'Grecian Bend'
And you know how the ladies appear;
On the tips of their toes, with their high-heel'd shoes,
It's amusing to watch them all.
Without wishing to offend,
I've invented a fashion, I'll swear,
Will be followed out too, as it's something new,
And I call it 'The Roman Fall'.

Chorus: For if ladies still intend
To follow out 'The Grecian Bend',
Take notice, you men all,
The latest thing's 'The Roman Fall';
Head back, the chest well out,
A walk between a shuffle and a crawl;
The long, the short, the lean, the stout,
Must try 'The Roman Fall'.

Now you know as the ladies of late
Have so very ridiculous grown,
Made themselves such guys, to appear in the eyes
Of the gentlmen all in all.
They will not be al all elate
At the fashion we have of our own,
For I quite intend to out-do 'The Bend'
By the beautiful 'Roman Fall'.

Chorus:

A girl with 'The Grecian Bend'
Has a terrible trial to endure,
She must walk on her toes and perhaps her nose,
May come bump up against a wall.
With the fashion that I recommend,
Our noses are safe I am sure,
For you'll find instead, it's the back of the head,
Will be hurt by 'The Roman Fall'.

Chorus:

Now I hope what I've said tonight,
Will sink in your memories deep;
That you'll clearly see the necessity,
Of adopting it, one and all.
'Twill serve the dear ladies right,
And prove that we are not asleep,
If we boldly show there are none of us slow,
In producing 'The Roman Fall'.

SPOKEN - When the ladies bend before us, it shows they are inclined to stoop to our superiority and such a feast of humbleness invites us to to fall to. And the 'Roman Fall' shews we are beaux to the back-bone. And by extending our manly breast, 'Chestify' ourselves in receiving the little benten forms on our lordly protuberances and pillowing their heads on those ribs from whence they sprung.
Yes, gentlemen, we must show the dear girls that we can adopt fashions as ridiculous as their own. But really the ladies have become so forward of late, that it's not surprising that we should be a little backward. A good figure is always admired and a fall in the back I consider especially graceful. The ladies always admire a fall in the back. And without conceit, I think I may say I've got it.
But don't be envious, don't be envious, gentlemen; only take my advice and you'll be as fascinating as I am.

Chorus:
 
div
 
Written, composed and performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ