RUM-TIDDLEY-UM-TUM-TAY!
 
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Ladies twenty three,
That's including me,
Lately had a beano,
A grand one, well we know!
Two big brakes we hired,
Just what we required;
Caused a hurly-burly,
We started so early.
Two young men for drivers, two young men we knew:
I can hardly tell you what them chaps went through.
Started off a treat!
Crowds were in the street.
People stared, who saw us coming,
Specially when they heard us humming:

Chorus: "Rum-tiddley-um-tum-tay!
Out for the day today,
Nobody cares what people think or say.
Our little lot's okay.
In our little tin-pot way,
Rum-tiddley-um-tum-tee-i-ee-i-ay!
Ay-ay-ay"

We got landed down,
In some one-eyed town;
Livened up the locals,
And chiked the yokels.
Treated some to beer,
Did they jib? No fear!
They could mop their liquor
In no time, or quicker.
Someone wanted music; one young feller there
On his concertina played, 'The Maiden's Prayer'
Pretty thing, but slow!
I said, 'Arf a mo!'
Stood the yokels up before us,
Then we taught them all this chorus:

Chorus:

Two old boys in smocks
Gave Aunt Liza shocks.
She said, 'Most ow-dacious!
They're night-shirts, good gracious!
Fancy wearing those
Outside all their clothes!
Straight! they must be simple,
Or touched in the pimple!'
I was picking cowslips, moo-cow came along,
Wagged it's apparatus; I thought, 'Something's wrong!'
Frightened? Not the least!
Tamed the savage beast.
If you ask, how did I do it?
Simply sang this chorus to it.

Chorus:

Evening came too fast;
Had to leave at last.
Sad the parting made us,
Though people hoorayed us.
All along the road
Gee-gees felt the load;
For each one at the party
At meal-times ate hearty.
Girls, we had a grand time! Straight you've no idea!
I can't tell you half, though; there's some fellers here.
All day from the start
Till we had to part
We were merry, bright and 'pally'
And we sang continually:

Chorus:

 
PDF Sheet Music
 
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Written and composed by Fred W. Liegh & Orlando Powell - 1908
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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