I flatter myself I'm a rogue,
And candidly own I'm a cad
A sharp, a leg, a vagabond,
And everything else that is bad
I proved to my parents a bane. A perfect young fiend to my nurse
And every year that I continue to live,
I'm getting from bad to worse.

Chorus: Oh, if there was ever a scamp
I flatter myself I am he
From William the Norman
To Brigham the Mormon
They can't hold a candle to me.

I was leader in mischief at school,
Though always so humble and meek
And when I discovered a chance of reward
I was always informer and sneak
By the evil example I set, other boys into mischief were led
But I always managed to pocket the spoil,
And get other boys walloped instead.


When a man, I went into the world,
I plundered the helpless and poor
Yet always got off with a snug little sum
When it came to a question of law
I started benevolent funds and lectured at Exeter Hall
I floated loan offices, hospitals, clubs,
And finally swindled them all.


In the city my name I keep up,
And swindling companies promote
Yet always creep out with the bulk of the funds
Before it's found out it won't float
I'm an Alderman, and as M.P, to stand I've received an invite
And if I get in, my party I'll sell,
And Disraeli will make me a knight.

Written and composed by Henry Pettitt & H. Lance Major - 1873
Performed by G.H. MacDermott (1845-1901)
Performed by Will Riley (1845 -1897)
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