SERVES YOU RIGHT
 
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P.C. Seventy-three once arrested Billy McGee
Bill, he tried his best the 'cop' to kill
So that limb of the law dragged him home and knocked at the door
While the neighbours shouted out at BIll,

Chorus: 'Serves you right! it serves you right
Jolly well serves you right
You've pinched his whistle and torn his clothes
Smashed his helmet and broke his nose
He was going to lock you up, but now as you want to fight
He's going to take you home to your wife
And it jolly well serves you right.'


Bill Green, terribly mean, wearing shoddy clothes could be seen
Made by foreign work to save a bob
His knives, forks and plates were foreign made, so his mates
Shouted when they heard he'd lost his job,

Chorus: 'Serves you right! it serves you right
Jolly well serves you right
A German cut out the clothes you wear
A Russian barber has cut your hair
Matches cut in Sweden too, you use if you want a light
Now a foreigner's cut you out of a job
And it jolly well serves you right.'


Oh, dear, upon the pier, Simpson felt a kick in the rear
Fell into the water with a splosh
Bill Brown, barber by trade, shouted out, 'You ought to have paid
Tuppence in my shop to've had a wash.

Chorus: 'Serves you right! it serves you right
Jolly well serves you right
Said the fellow, 'Oh save me do.'
Said the barber, 'But who shaves you?'
He replied, 'I shave myself.' The barber said, 'Well blow me tight
If you shave yourself, you can drown yourself
And it jolly well serves you right.'


Some spark, when it was dark, ev'ry evening sat in the park
With a different girl upon his knees
One night when he had sat hours and hours, or longer than that
He heard this loving echo through the trees,

Chorus: 'Serves you right! it serves you right
Jolly well serves you right
You can love her and call her sweet
But this morning we've tarred the seat
Nice and thick, it's bound to stick,
You've got to stop there all night
And tomorrow you'll have to marry the girl
And it jolly well serves you right.'
 
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Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
 
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