SHADOWS ON THE DOOR
 

One day on urgent business Tomkins trotted up to town,
To see his lawyer he was bent (a clever chap named Brown).
He walked up several flights of stairs until his feet were sore,
And then he rapped his knuckles on the private office door.
Be knocked again, got no reply, was growing fast enraged,
When a shadow on the half-glass door explained Brown was engaged.
A lady client was within the window Tomkins faced,
And it was plain the lawyer's arm was round the lady's waist.

Chorus: And when he saw the shadows he burst forth, "He! he! he!"
And then he went, "Ha! ha! ha!" and held his sides with glee.
Said he, "When I see Brown again, the rascal I will chaff."
"Ha! ha! ha!" he went again, and quite enjoyed the laugh.

Now Tomkins watched the shadows as they flitted to and fro,
Said he, "I'd freely wait an hour, this is a jolly go,
I'm sure that I shall not disturb their loving tele-a-tete;
He'll never have the cheek to charge that lady 'six-and-eight!'
In making out his bill of costs he piles it up with care,
But on occasion, it would seem, he favours something fair.
And Tomkins quite enjoyed the fun, in fact he thought it bliss,
And nearly burst with laughter when the pair exchanged a kiss.

Chorus:

He waited fully half-an-hour, it didn't hurt his pride,
When all at once the private office door was opened wide.
And Brown exclaimed, astonished when he saw friend Tomkins near,
"Come in, old man! Why how is this I find you waiting here?"
Said Tomkins, "You were so engaged," and here he gave a wink,
"Disturb another client, sir, now would I, do you think.
Said Brown, "I haven't been engaged for this last hour or two.
There's no one here except your wife, who's been expecting you.

Chorus: And when he saw the shadows he burst forth, "He! he! he!"
And then he went, "Ha! ha! ha!" and held his sides with glee.
But when he found Brown's client was his frisky, better half,
"Ha! ha! ha!" (feebly) he tried, no use; be hanged if he could laugh!

 
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Written and composed by H.A. Duffy and 'Jolly' John Nash - 1891
Performed by 'Jolly' John Nash (1830 - 1901)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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