THE SHOWMAN
 

You've heard of organ grinders and of men in German bands,
But I think you'll say my tale beats theirs when my tale you understands.
I'm a Punch and Judy artist and my fame is so well known,
That we all like old aquaintances, find friends you'll surely own.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

'Twas at a fair I met her, she'd followers by the score,
She stopp'd so long before my box, I show'd Punch o'er and o'er;
I made the figgers say such things and cut such funny capers,
That a notice of my show was in the country morning papers.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

The fair was over, I went to a dancing booth close by,
The moment that I entered a sweet voice said, 'Oh! My!
I recognised that face, that voice, and felt quite in a tremor,
I asked her name, she blush'd and said, its Punch and Judy - ahem - Hemma.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

We danced together lots o' times, my love I couldn't smother,
I said, be mine, you angel, you! she said she'd ask her mother;
When a hag-racultural looking chap, came frowning up to me,
And said, now Punch and Judy, how dare you make so free.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

Said I, "Perhaps you're her brother, so of course I ain't offended,
Her brother, Punch and Judy man', said he, Yin her intended-,'
I look'd around, the girl had fled, I was chaffed both left and right,
So lost my temper, had a fight, and got lock'd up all night.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

I had to pay a heavy fine, and so lost all my cash,
I lost my show, the country bumpkins broke it all to smash;
And ever since that fatal day, tho' I've earn'd many a brown,
No more to country fairs l go, but stick to London Town.

Chorus: Rooty tooty, rooty tooty, blame me if you can,
I'm a broken-hearted, rooty tooty, Punch and Judy man.

 
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From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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