SLEEP! SLEEP! HE'S ALWAYS GOT HIS EYES SHUT
 
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Some girls get hold of husbands that are full of energy;
And others seem to find 'em quite the opposite, you see.
I've got one of the opposites, a beauty, don't forget!
For laziness he takes the cake, the worst you ever met.
I've been married to him for just about a year;
It's like another Rip Van Winkle case.
He'll never be no better and it fair gives me the hump
To see him lolling about the place.

Chorus: Sleep! sleep! he's always got his eyes shut!
Oh, what a husband to be sure!
Night and day he'll sleep himself away;
It's no good me a-jawing, the bounder's always snoring,
Sometimes, when he gets a move on, out he goes and has a drain;
Comes in from the pub, eats up all the grub, shuts his eyes and goes to sleep again.

I shan't forget in all my life the day that we were wed,
His pals they had to go around and drag him out of bed;
They all had such a time of it because he's very stout;
You see, he wants some lifting but at last they got him out.
As we stood in the church his head began to droop,
I thought he was a-praying, 'pon my word!
You should have seen the parson when the beauty he began
The loudest snoring you ever heard!

Chorus:

Last week to dodge the broker's man, we had to move away,
Oh, what a lovely time I had and what a lovely day!
Found a fellow to do the job, the owner of a truck;
But when he came to do it, for a moment he was stuck.
My Jim was snoring away, the man was so annoyed;
And as he lay there like a load of bricks,
He rolled him in a blanket and he soon was gently laid
Inside the barrow among the sticks.

Chorus:

As things were getting serious and very hard for me,
I went and brought the doctor in from our dispensary,
When he lifted his gamp up and gave him such a dig,
Poor Jimmy didn't move but lay there like a Christmas pig;
He said with a shake of his head, 'He'll always be the same,
The only thing is, do the best you can!'
Now, here's a nice posiyion, he's alive and yet he's not,
And I can't marry another man!

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Murray/Leigh & George Le Brunn
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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