Since someone took the stable door, tho' firewood is cheap
Beneath the stairs upon the coal the donkey has to sleep
'E fancies 'e's in clover when the biggest lumps are broke
An' I've propped his head up nicely with a clinker from the coke

Chorus: Up and down the stairs I creep when he's in his beauty sleep
Just to have a tiny peep sight I wouldn't lose
Leave my boots upon the mat, keep a look out for the cat
Shouldn't like to step on that, An' spoil the donkey's snooze

I fear his rest is broken 'cos the parlour lodger snores
I'd knock a tanner off his rent if he'd tie up his jaws
'E says the donkey brays at night but still he can't complain
'E'll never want a weather-glass to say as it will rain.

Chorus: When it's time to go to bed down the kitchen stairs he's led
With a cosey on his head - case he gets the 'screws'
When I've bunked him in, I try sort of baby's hush-a-bye
An' see as no one comes a-nigh to spoil the donkey's snooze.

'E sometimes has a nightmare, an' he raises up his voice
The next-door neighbours knock the wall and wot they sez is choice
The donkey's ear for moosic is a bad one I'll agree
But still it ain't no wusser than a fog-horn out at sea.

Chorus: Sometimes up till two I wait, 'cos the lodger comes home late
With his clogs on (things I hate) 'E works down the mews
Then I ax him quietly with the dumb man's ABC
To have a pick-a-back on me an' let the donkey snooze.

I wonder wot 'e dreams of if in slumber 'e has gorn
To kick his little heels up in the thistles and the corn
I reckon as 'e thinks of me the one as 'e loves best
Where the nippers ain't a troublin' and the 'orse-whip is at rest.

Chorus: When the wind is blowing rough, wool inside his ears I stuff
Doesn't think it safe enough sleepin' draughts to use
Once all night with him I stayed, on my arm 'is 'ead was laid
Didn't dare to move - afraid to spoil my donkey's snooze.
Performed by Alec Hurley (1871-1913)
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