'SNO USE
 
div
 
I'm going to tell you a few tales in rhyme
They're short and I hope they won't bore us
And after each yarn kindly take a deep breath
And let yourselves go in this chorus ,

Chorus: 'SNo use, 'SNo use
'SNo, 'SNo, 'SNo, 'SNo use.


A lady I met at a party one night
Told me her front name was Netice
She squeezed a ripe grape in my ear, and then I
Smacked her on the back with a lettuce.

Chorus:

To market, to market, to buy a fat pig
A bit of philosophy this is
There's many a man buys a pig in a poke
When he turns a miss into his missis.

Chorus:

I had a nice dog with a musical cough
I christened the dog Hadyn Coffin'
A motor car ran over Hadyn one day
Now poor Hadyn coughs in his coffin.

Chorus:

Our policeman was talking of children, and I
Said, 'How many have you? Mr Billings.?'
He said, 'Well, every week they've a penny apiece
And last Sunday it came to three shillings.

Chorus:

A fellow who earned two pounds fifteen last week
Gave his missus ten bob at the finish
She said, 'Where's the other two pounds five?' and he
Said, 'I treated myself to a Guinness.'

Chorus:

A girl used to expect diamond lockets and rings,
If you wanted to kiss and to hug her.
Now if you want to see how a girl can love you,
Just bung her a pound of lump sugar.

Chorus:

'What are you trying to do, my pretty maids?'
I said to some young lady waiters.
They said, 'We are taking our stockings off, sir,
To see if we can find potatoes!

Chorus:

A lady fell out of a window one day,
On a trumpeter whose name was Lindup;
I said, 'Is she hurt?' to the soldier and he
Said, 'No sir, she's just got the wind up!'

Chorus:
 
div
 
Writtenh and composed by Jack Foley - 1921
Performed by Harry Weldon (1881-1930)
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ