STANDING AT THE CORNER OF THE STREET
 
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When Eckard Smith ran second in the Derby, last July,
I was standing at the corner of the street.
A fellow dressed in uniform could easily see that I,
Was standing at the corner of the street.
He greeted me and told me that the country needed men,
In Lifeguard clothes, he said I'd look a treat.
'E gave to to me a shilling and I signed my name and then,
I was standing at the corner of the street.

And for standing at the corner of the street,
They dressed me up with spurs upon my feet.
They put me on a horse's back to teach me 'ow to ride
The riding master came to me and cried,
'However did you come to be a soldier, I replied,
'I was standing at the corner of the street.'

Now once when I was quite a lad, instead of going to school,
I was standing at the corner of the street.
I landed there at ten o'clock I'd made it quite a rule,
This standing at the corner of the street.
The teacher came and caught me I fair trembled at the knees,
'You're late again!' then kicked me with 'is feet.
Said he, 'Tell me the reason why.' said I, 'If you please,
I was standing at the corner of the street.'

And for standing at the corner of the street,
'In school, for you,' he said, 'I've got a treat.'
Then 'e laid me on a form and with a cane, he gave a frown.
He put some stripes upon my pants, they were pink, white and brown.
And after that, for many a day, instead of sitting down,
I was standing at the corner of the street.

As usual, the other day, instead of going a walk,
I was standing at the corner of the street.
Two men came rushing up to me with faces white as chalk.
They said a bull 'ad just escaped, it was absolutely mad,
'E knocked a dozen p'licemen off their feet.
There's only one man strong enough, to catch that bull, they said,
And 'e's standing at the corner of the street.

I was standing at the corner of the street.
I said to them,'We'll soon stop 'is retreat,
One of you must stand just 'ere and show 'im something red,
The other, he must grab 'is horns and 'ang on to 'is 'ead,
They both said, 'Where will you be?' so I turned round and said,
'I'll be standing at the corner of the street.'

 
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Performed by George Formby Senior (1877-1921)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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