STRIP THE BED AND HAVE ANOTHER LOOK
 
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When I got married to the wife, oh dear
A funny thing occurred. It really was so queer
Our feather bed cost us a lot of tin
And when I whispered to the wife we'd better tumble in
It brought big lumps up on both our backs for it was as hard as lead
I fancy that the feathers must have flown away
For I to my sleeping partner said
'Well we'd better strip the bed and have another little look
Those feathers must be somewhere'
She shook one corner and from a dozen holes
Came three quarters of a ton of coals
Coconuts with whiskers on from out of it she shook
I said, 'I don't know where we shall ever find a feather
But we'd better strip the bed and have another little look.

Oh, the wife got treated to a nice free singe
Blowing out the candle, burnt her fringe
I said to her, 'Don't worry over that
I'll pop into the barbers and I'll buy a little plait
Next morning I got a fearful shock. The wife woke up and cried,
'Blowed if I haven't lost my little bit of hair' Then to her I replied
'Well, we'd better strip the bed and have another little look.
That topknot must be somewhere.
Perhaps our baby's got that bit of hair.
Sticking whiskers on his Teddy Bear
Don't give it up. We shall have to search in every likely nook
Or you'll have to wear a wrapper with some Tatcho on your napper
So we'd better strip the bed and have another little look.

Oh, when our first baby came we jumped with joy
Everybody said he'd be a lively boy
He's always pouring water in my hat
All round the yard he'll go and try and kill the cat
It startled me when the boy was three, the wife woke up one morn
I said, 'Why are you crying?' She said, I've had a fright
I find our baby's gone'
'Well, we'd better strip the bed and have another little look
That baby must be somewhere'
All at once we saw his little head
Peeping out from the bottom of the bed
He jumped about and began to shout as that old bedstead shook
'Oh, Mummy! Mummy! I've been and lost my dummy'
'Well we'd better strip the bed and have another little look'
 
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Written and composed by Charles Collins - 1914
Recorded by George D'Albert (1870-1949)
 
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