SUCH A DON, DON'T YOU KNOW
 
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Have you heard of Fitz-Clarence's West End renown?
Most languid, most floppy young man about town;
On his lip just a slightest suspicion of down,
But he'll wax it, you know, don't you know!
He mixes with baronets, hobnobs with peers,
And girls on the stage he 'My Loves' and 'My Dears!'
In age he is only twenty-two years
But he's fifty in vice, don't you know!

Chorus: Such a don, don't you know!
Got 'em on, don't you know!
'Good gwacious me, quite in the know, don't you know!
Who I am? dear old chap!
Don't you know? dear old chap,
Why, I'm Clarence Fitz-Clarence, you know, don't you know!'

He keeps a smart handsom - it hurts him to walk;
He says it's a deuce of a bore to talk;
He can tell a champagne by a sniff of the cork
He's a beastly good judge, don't you know!
Irresistible he is, and none can deny
That ladies turn faint as he passes them by
With the wickedest wink and a glass in his eye,
By Gad! Don Jon! don't you know!

Chorus:

Of afternoons, Clarence and eyeglass and all,
Of course does the four o'clock Burlington crawl;
And then in St John's Wood the bird makes a call
A bally nice girl, don't you know!
What with sweetest of kisses and plenty of fizz
Young Clarence can hardly make out where he is,
There's a sweet, soppy look on his silly old phiz.
He's a devil, you know, don't you know!

Chorus:

Of course it's a bore to exist on this earth,
He is only sustained by a sense of his worth,
By his style, and the old Norman blood of his birth,
Beastly old family, don't you know!
He has more estates than he has brains, I fear,
His speech is a stutter, his laugh is a leer,
He is full in the pocket, but empty up here,
He's a 'man about town', don't you know!

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Richard Morton & George Le Brunn - 1895
Performed by Charles Godfrey (1851-1900)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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