SUCH A MASH!
 
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A creature whom I know, whom I know, whom I know,
Is called by some, a beau, yes a beau, yes a beau,
At tea-fights or a ball, he's always sure to call;
And bound to fetch 'em all, don't you know, don't you know.

Chorus: For he is such a mash, such a mash, such a mash!
Rings and jewels he'll flash, yes he'll flash, cut a dash,
No matter calm or storm, you'll hear him say, 'Goof form!"
Because he's such a mash, such a mash, such a mash.

You see him at the bar, yes the bar, yes the bar,
With bittars, there you are, there you are, there you are.
The waiter he will tip, the 'Bass', ah, he will sip,
And praise the barmaid's lip, there you are.

Chorus:

The ballet girls, oh lor, yes oh lor, yes oh lor,
He loves them all I'm sure, yes I'm sure, yes I'm sure,
The Gaiety, the Strand, with toothpickers he'll stand,
A crook-stick in his hand, at the door, yes, stage door

Chorus:

His pater keeps a shop, yes a shop, yes a shop,
In Regent Street, the top, yes the top, quite tip-top,
But that is entre nous, between myself and you,
He'll marry, it is true, Lady Flop, Lady Flop.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by T.S. Lonsdale and Alfred Lee - c1880
Performed by Nelly Power (1854 - 1887)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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