SWIM SAM, SWIM
 
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Once I was a sailor, a sailor big and broad.
I shipped aboard a whaler, and tumbled overboard.
I shouted: 'Someone save me! 'Someone said: 'Go hang!
The sharks are sniffing round you.' Then my shipmates sang:

Chorus: 'Swim Sam swim!
Show them you're some swimmer!
Swim just like a swan Sam!
You know how the swan swam.
Six sharp sharks are going to snap your limbs.
So swipe them swiftly when they swoop
And swim Sam swim!'

So I swam with vigour; the race had just begun.
Sharks all eyed my figure; 'All jelly,' shouted one.
Some old portly porpoise popped up in the foam;
Shouted: 'If you want to catch your last train home,

Chorus: Swim Sam swim!
Show them you're some swimmer!
Swim just like a swan Sam!
You know how the swan swam.
Six sharp sharks are going to snap your limbs.
So swipe them swiftly when they swoop
And swim Sam swim!'

Sharks all heard the chorus and said while in the brine,
Ragtime did it for us, but by gum this is fine!'
They fluttered with their esses until they got lockjawed,
So then I left them singing as I climbed on board:

Chorus: Swim Sam swim!
Show them you're some swimmer!
Swim just like a swan Sam!
You know how the swan swam.
Six sharp sharks are going to snap your limbs.
So swipe them swiftly when they swoop
And swim Sam swim!

Chorus: Swim Sam swim Sam swim!
Show them you're some swimmer!
Swim like a snow-white swan Sam!
You know how the swan swam.
Six sharp shivering sharks are going to snap your limbs.
So a well-swum swim is a swim well swum.

 
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Written and composed by R.P. Weston & Bert Lee - 1917
Performed by Jay Laurier (1879-1969)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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