TAKE MY TIP AND GET HOME, DADDY
(Parody)
 
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Take my tip and get home, Daddy
Get yourself undressed
And into bed before Mother comes
And try for a good night's rest
You've copped the brewer again, Daddy
You're fairly stone-broke now
And you've been and spent the rent, Daddy
So there's sure to be a row.

And if I was you and you was me
Straight home I'd quietly go
For you'll cop it for being so drunk again
For Mother this morning she told you so.

Pull yourself together, Daddy
It's time that we were off
Don't sit in the gutter any more
For it will not improve your cough
You wanted to kiss the policeman, Daddy
And he knows what that means
You've been talking about some tarts, Daddy
Oh Mother'll give you beans.

So if I was you and you was me
I'd try and push along
For you know very well when dear Mother starts
That, that is the time when you feel all wrong.

Try and bring it back, Daddy
Call it again to your mind
The time that you were teetotal and
To us at home were kind
You've been and lost the mush, Daddy
You've only got one boot
And someone's smothered your face, Daddy
With red ochre and with soot.

And if I was you and you was me
It's a bath bun to a pin
I'd take the tip that Copper gave
For I'm sure, if you don't, you'll get run in.

You must be a silly joss, Daddy
To go and fall like that
What will you do if your braces go?
Get up, for you're on your hat
I'm getting the needle now, Daddy
This is carrying things too far
And if you won't come home, Daddy
You can just stop where you are.

So you'd better say good-bye to me, Daddy
For it's half past ten now - quite
You'll be alright till the stretcher comes
Daddy, good night - d'ye hear Daddy?
D'ye hear, Daddy? Good night, good night.
 
 
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