TAKES THE CAKE
 
div
 
The subject of the song, for which
I've taken up my pen,
Will treat of various countries,
And of celebrated men:
Of ladies too, of course, some notice
I am bound to take,
So I'll mention men and women,
Who in some way take the cake.

Chorus: Of course I'm not infallable,
And may make a mistake;
But I'll mention men and women,
Who in some way take the cake.

Now ladies first of course,
So Mrs. Weldon I will name;
A lady who in many ways,
Is now well known to fame:
Her pluck and perseverence,
She has shown, and no mistake,
And for worrying the lawyers ,
Mrs. Weldon takes the cake.

Chorus: Of course she's not infallable,
And oft makes a mistake;
And for cheeking all the Judges,
Mrs. Weldon takes the cake.

And then in poor ould Ireland,
Mr. Parnell reigns supreme;
In getting such devotion,
Sure no man could ever dream :
If O'Connell were alive, by dad!
In his poor shoes he'd quake,
There's no doubt that in Ireland,
Mr. Parnell takes the cake.

Chorus: But in trying to break the union,
He makes a big mistake ;
He can't take Ireland from England,
Although he takes the cake.


We all know that in Scotland,
Mr. Gladstone is admired;
In listening to his speeches,
Scottish folk are never tired:
But canny as they are,
They never tumble to his fake,
There's no mistake in Scotland,
Mr. Gladstone takes the cake.

Chorus: But he's careful in his speeches,
Not to make the least mistake;
He won't take Disestablishment,
Although he takes the cake.

I think you'll own,Lord Salisbury's
A very clever man,
In settling this Burmese affair,
He's done the best he can;
He's finished up the business too,
Without the least mistake;
And if for this, and nothing more,
He ought to take the cake.

Chorus: And General Prendergast of course,
All honours ought to take;
For the tact and smartness he's displayed,
He really takes the cake.

Then there's Lord Randolph Churchill,
Whom some people would pooh, pooh!
Don't run away with this idea,
But give the man his due:
He's clever, and I'm certain,
That his way he's sure to make,
But for rudeness to the Grand Old Man,
Lord Randolph takes the-cake.

Chorus: Of course he's not infallable,
And oft makes a mistake;
But for boldly saying what he thinks,
Lord Randolph takes the cake.

Now say what country in the world,
Old England e'er can touch;
Can Russia, France or Germany,
Or Austria? Not much!
In some things p'rhaps they beat us,
But they'll never make us quake,
And for plucky men and pretty girls,
Old England takes the cake.

Chorus: Of course she's not infallable,
And oft makes a mistake;
And for piling on the taxes,
By Jove! England takes the cake.

I think I now will leave you,
And it's time, perhaps you'll say,
But I hope that you will think of me,
When I am far away:
I've no time to go round
And give each person's hand a shake,
But of all the songs to-night
I hope,you'll say mine takes the cake.

Chorus: Of course I'm not infallable,
And may make a mistake,
But I'll take a drink with some of you,
If I can't take the cake.

 
div
 
Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1887
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ