A TALE OF PARIS
 
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The Reverend Mr Harris, he went across to Paris,
And stayed there for a week or so.
He meant to be so proper, but alas he came a cropper,
His strictly pious mind received a blow.
Then often he'd go dancing around so madly prancing
Then to the Moulin Rouge each night he'd go.
On Sunday School his flock-o would get a nasty shock-o
If they could see their shepherd eh? What ho?

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
He soon came back with awful tales of woe.
But off to Paris twice a year he'll go.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
He soon came back with awful tales of woe.
But off to Paris twice a year he'll go.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!

The Reverend Mr Harris, when he came back from Paris,
He brought some little knick-knacks too,
Some very tricky pictures of rather warmish mixtures,
To show at Sunday School 'twould never do.
His wife like Baby Bunting, amongst his things went hunting,
A nicely jewelled garter met her stare.
Said she: 'Oh this is shocking. You must have seen a stocking.'
Said he: 'Oh Vi I'll tell you why it's there.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
I saw it on a lady's knee and so
I pulled it off because it hurt her so.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
I saw it on a lady's knee and so
I pulled it off because it hurt her so.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!

The gaieties of Paris attracted Mr Harris;
His visits there were short and sweet.
He left his wife behind him, but she went there to find him,
And found him in a very hot retreat.
With a lady he was pally, quite entente-cordi-ally.
She sat there on his knee much at ease
Then in came Mrs Harris. Said she: 'Oh this is Paris.
And what's that thing you're bouncing on your knees eh?'

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
Said he: 'This poor lost lamb I've found and so
I'm teaching her the way that she should go.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! What ho!
Said he: 'This poor lost lamb I've found

 
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Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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