THE TALE OF THE SKIRT
 
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Now, gentlemen, you'll agree that the great eternal she
Is an interesting matter to discuss
But you can't weigh up the subject in a moment so suppose
I content myself with that particular portion of her clothes
Called the skirt - that'll be quite enough for us
If it's stylishly constructed in the fashion of the day
And the wearer knows her business when she'd out
By correct manipulation she the figure can display
And the ankles, and the well it's hard to turn the eyes away
When there's half a yard of open work about.

Chorus: It is in the skirt you know, that will invariably show
You what the lady is, it never can fail
Everywhere you go you'll always find it so
It is in the skirt you know, that tells the tale.


The skirt of a lady's dress, may beyond a doubt express
Lots of things she'd like to say, but won't
If she's seated on a sofa, and you're perched upon a chair
Just a movement of the skirt will mean that she's lonely over there
Take the hint - you are a noodle if you don't
Should you fail to understand, of course, the lady will be hurt
For she doesn't like a man to play the dunce
And when later on you meet her, you'll be sorry that's a cert.
She will show her disapproval by a motion of her skirt
And you'll know exactly where you are at once.

Chorus:

Some women, of course, there are who are most particular
As to how they lift the skirt when in the street
It may be that they are careful of the strict proprieties
But perhaps I might suggest another good reason for it is
That they're not properly built about the feet
There's the lady, quite the lady, for the lady tells you so
In a voice that breathes gentility and gin
She appears to be uncertain as to where she wants to go
And she murmurs 'Saucy Monkey' when a rude boy shouts 'What ho
Ria, yer skirt's acomin' down - y'er want a pin.'

Chorus:
 
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Written and performed by Fred W. Leigh & George Le Brunn
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
 
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