TEN MINUTES TOO LATE
 
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Some fidgety folks I always have known
Who are famous for being out too soon
For that two o'clock dinner or four o'clock tea
They always turn up around noon.

Such whimsical fancy I ne'er call my own
Although the reverse is my fate.
For it always occurs that wherever I go
I'm exactly ten minutes too late.

Punctuality is all very proper I know
and all hurry and worry I hate,
For it always occurs that wherever I go
I'm exactly ten minutes too late

I was once in my life very deeply in love
When I courted in verse and in prose.
I obtained me alock of her hair and a glove
And I made up my mind to propose.

Well the cab drove away as I knocked on her door
And the answer decided my fate,
For my rival had been just ten minutes before
So that I was ten minutes too late.

Punctuality is all very proper I know
and all hurry and worry I hate,
For it always occurs that wherever I go
I'm exactly ten minutes too late

When I jump on a tram or I hop on a bus
To be nicely in time for a train
Well I'm all in a fever and quite in a fuss
Though I know that my efforts' in vain.

For when I arrive at the station at last
And I think it five minutes to eight
I observe by the clock that it's five minutes past
So that I am ten minutes too late.

Punctuality is all very proper I know
and all hurry and worry I hate,
For it always occurs that wherever I go
I'm exactly ten minutes too late

I could sing for a month if I tore into song
Of the misfortunes I've had to endure,
For this this curse is has haunted me all my life long
And will haunt till death I am sure.

When this fitful career is approaching its end
And I lie in a critical state,
Sure No matter what physics the doctor may send
He'll send them ten minutes too late.
 
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Written, composed and performed by Harry Clifton (1824-1872)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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