THAT'S WHERE THEY FOUND ME
 
div
 

I went out of doors one night
To Jack Johnson and said, 'Good night.'
Passed him, left him far behind
To the park I went like wind.
Whilst in the park did roam
Johnson simply went straight home.
But his wife he could not see
Johnson came out after me, and...

Chorus: In the park, In the dark,
Johnson did walk round me
Stolen kisses, Johnson's missus.
That's where he found me.

On another night went I
For a walk, and, feeling dry
Went into a pub or so,
Just to see the time - you know.
When an early clock struck two
Indoors was a rare to do.
Ev'rybody was afraid,
I was lost or stole or strayed

Chorus: But in the street, off my feet
With houses waltzing round me,
Utterly utter, in the gutter
That's where they found me.

Eager for the battle's fray
I enlisted one fine day
All the army brave - and I
Went to glory or to die
Well, the first day of the fight
Was a sad and woeful sight
Afterwards our colonel said,
'Jones is missing - Jones is dead.'

Chorus: But in the rear, can of beer
And empty cans all round me
Among the clover, is it all over?
That's where they found me.

I was missing for three years
They sought me in the House Of Peers
In the House of Commons too
But I never came to view.
'He is clever,' so they said,
'He's a great man now, or dead
You'll find him judge upon the bench
Or P'raps the Emperor of the French.

Chorus: But in the gloom, padded room
And Colney Hatch all round me,
Sucking lemons, delirium tremens
That's where they found me.

 
div
 
Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ