THEY AIN'T NO CLASS
 
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I'm a cockney and I knows my way about
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
I've a hoyster stall, as wants some knockin' out,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
Me and my old gooseberry has stuck to it like glue
So in course they envies us, 'cos we're the well-to-do;
Sez as I'm as ikey as the Dook of Boocle-oo
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.

Chorus: I ain't a bloke as rhands upon me pals
Jist 'cos I saved a bit o' brass.
No, they ain't all that amiss, but the wust of 'em is this
Not none of 'em ain't no class.

Once I used to smoke a clay and common shag,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
Naa, you never see me only wiv' a 'fag'
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
What's the good of ooftish if yer don't dress up to dick?
When yer knows yer way about, yer pals yer bhand to pick;
Then they goes and sez as oow yer aris-toc-ra-tick,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.

Chorus:

I acknowledges as 'ow we've made a bit,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
And the people there are good 'uns, I'll admit,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
Still it is astonishin' 'ow curious they is,
Astss's me for winegar, calls the Missis Liz;
Fancy me a dealin' wiv' such ig-er-ra-mus-izs,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.

Chorus:

I've heard 'em running down the Haase o' Lords,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
Goes and sez as all the lot of 'm are frauds,
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.
When they comes a talking in that sort o' way to me,
'Well,' I sez, 'We've allers 'ad our old Nobilitee;
Don't forgit we owed a bit to the Earl of Shaftsburee
Rhand the ditch - Shoreditch.

Chorus: I ain't a bloke as rhands upon the lords
Jist 'cos they've got a bit o' brass.
For among the Upper Ten there are lots of gentlemen
Though some on 'em ain't no class.

 
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Performed by Herbert Campbell (1844-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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