THTOP YOUR THTAMMERING THAMMY
 
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Sammy was a soldier who stammered like a dork;
He used to say 'K-K-Katy, will you come and 'ave a talk?'
He would say 'Come listen, at the k-k-k-k-kitchen door.'
She could never make it out, what 'is talk was all about,
Ev'ry time she was in doubt, she'd list to 'im and say:

Chorus: Thtop your thtuttering Thammy,
Thammy goodness me!
You always thtart to thtutter
When you 'ave a do with me.
Put your arms around me;
Squeeze me nice and fine
But thtop your thtuttering Thammy,
'Cos you're only wasting time.

If I talk like Sammy, I'll strike me blue and pink.
Wouldn't it be awful when I tried to get a drink?
I should choke and splutter at op'nin' time one day
'Guinness Miss,' I'd try to shout,
But before I'd get it out,
Ten o'clock would strike and then,
I'd 'ear the barmaid say:

Chorus: Thtop your thtuttering Thammy,
Thammy goodness me!
You always thtart to thtutter
When you 'ave a do with me.
Put your arms around me;
Squeeze me nice and tight
But thtop your thtuttering Thammy,
'Cos I can't stay 'ere all night.
I didn't 'ear any thtut. Oh you mutht thtut.
Oh you mutht.

I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll rag it. Are you ready?
Thammy thtop your thtuttering; you're getting on me nerves.
Oh for goodness' sake give over Thammy do.
For if you keep on thtuttering and thtuttering and thtuttering
I'll thoon be thtutt'ring just as bad as you.
Snuckle up and love me, Thammy, snuckle up to me.
Promise that you'll squeeze me nice and tight,
For tha tha you're forgiven Thammy when you love a girl
But if you'll only thtop your thtuttering Thammy you're all right.

Chorus:

 
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Performed by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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