TIGHT SKIRTS HAVE GOT TO GO
 
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The other morn, at breakfast, while I read the 'Daily Wail',
My old landlady noticed that my face had gone quite pale.
Said she, 'Oh sir, what's wrong? Is there some bad news in today?'
I answered, 'No, it's worse than that.' and she said, 'Oh, I say!'
I staggered to the window, I took a breath of air,
Then pointing to the fashion page, I said to her, 'Look there!'

Chorus: 'Tight skirts have got to go! Tight skirts have got to go!
Hobble skirts have had their day
That's what all the papers say.
'Tight skirts have got to go! Girls, I'm asking you.
Why can't the petticoats and blouses,
And other little things, go too?

The tight skirt had it's good points, if a girl had form and grace,
It didn't hide the facts from you, you saw it face-to-face.
And if the girl you courted wore a tight skirt, it's no joke,
You saw what you meant marrying, 'twas no pink pig in a poke.
The fluffy gown that grandma wore, is coming back, that's why,
I take one last loving look at beauty, form and style.

Chorus: 'Tight skirts have got to go! Tight skirts have got to go!
Hobble skirts have had their day
That's what all the papers say.
'Tight skirts have got to go! Girls, I'm asking you.
Why can't the petticoats and blouses,
And other little things, go too?

 
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Performed by Whit Cunliffe (1876-1966)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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