TILLY THE TYPRESS
(Mum's The Word)
 
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Tilly was a typress - she was never slow - Mum's the word
When the men got spoony, she would stop them so! - Mum's the word
Of the art of typing Tilly was the Queen
Praised for her rapidity frequently she's been
Two hundren words a minute, with a kiss or two between
Mum's the word.

Chorus: Tilly was a typress, very, very smart
Never acted any way absurd
When the fellows, on their knees
Said, 'Oh, may I kiss you please?'
Tilly used to let 'em, saying - 'Mum's the word'

Tilly's fond of golfing - golfing on the links - mum's the word
For the costume suits her beautifully, she thinks - Mum's the word
She knocks all the mere men fairly off their pins
When the fellows challenge her, and the game begins
She can't play golf for monkey-nuts, but still she always wins
Mum's the word.

Chorus: Tilly was a typress, very, very smart
Never acted any way absurd
Such a demon, when she starts
With the golfers manly hearts
Tilly plays the Dickens, only Mum's the word.

Tilly, in the season, once went for a swim - Mum's the word
With some other ladies, in the morning dim - Mum's the word
She was bubbling over, full of happiness
Till a sad discovery filled her with distress
She'd, inadvertently, forgot to bring her bathing-dress
Mum's the word.

Chorus: Tilly was a typress, very, very smart
Never acted any way absurd
Though she couldn't see a 'him'
Still she went withuot her swim
Tilly thought it safer to, but, Mum's the word

 
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Written and composed by J.P. Harrington & George Le Brunn - 1902
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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