TO CHEER HIM UP AND HELP HIM ON HIS WAY
 
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Each man has got his work to do, in this life, you'll agree
My mission is to sypathise, when folks want sympathy
A knock came at our door, last night, and there with haggard face
A man said, 'Jack, your old pal, Brown, is dying, it's a case.'
I grabbed my hat and coat, you know,
And rushed around to see poor Joe.

Refrain: To cheer him up and help him on his way
I said, 'Next week you'll have no rent to pay.'
I drank his milk and soda and I made him say his prayers
I said, 'Good-bye, I'm going, so are you, from all your cares.'
The Dead March then I whistled, and fell down two flights of stairs
Just to cheer him up and help him on his way.


I've often done a lot of good, whilst travelling up and down
The bravest deed I ever did was once in London Town
I stood on the embankment, there, the ground was thick with snow
And as I gazed into the Thames, a voice cried from below
'I'm sinking, sir, without a doubt,
Oh do please try and fish me out.'

Refrain: To cheer him up and help him on his way
I cried, 'However can I help you, pray?'
He shouted, 'Throw a life-buoy.' I said,
'There's no life-buoy here.'
He said, 'well, then, drop me a line, or I shall drown I fear.'
So with my fountain pen I wrote, 'A prosperous New Year.'
Just to cheer him up and help him on his way.


Last week I saw a dreadful sight, which filled me with despair
A man fell off a roof, and caused a consternation there
The foreman said, 'Who'll break the news to his wife Mrs Gee?'
The men around looked at the boss, the boss then looked at me
I said, 'Let me go.' He said, 'Right.'
So round I went to her that night.

Refrain: To cheer him up and help him on his way
I said to her, 'How is your husband, pray?'
She answered, 'He will soon be home, now I must make his tea.'
I said, 'I don't think so, cos he's broken his leg, you see
But don't let that upset you, put the kettle on for me
It will cheer you up and help you on your way.'


A very painful episode, last week, I chanced to see
Whilst walking down a country lane, I noticed, on a tree
A man swung on some branches, there, and round his waist was tied
A piece of rope, all full of knots, and so to him I cried
'Explain to me this awful strife!'
He said, 'Young man I'm tired of life.

Refrain: To cheer him up and help him on his way
I said, 'Take my tip do not be a jay,
Just fancy, trying to hang yourself, and putting in your cheque
And just look how you've tied the rope.'
He blushed and said, 'Oh heck.'
Then I took the rope from round his waist
And placed it round his neck
Just to cheer him up and help him on his way.
 
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Written and composed by Alec Kendal - 1912
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)
 
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