So with some friends of mine went up the West
We had the sort of feeling as they kindly showed us in
This was going to be the thing we'd heard of 'Lohengrin'
But when we found 'twas all Italiano
It was so slow we knew that it would bore us
We all began to shout, so they quickly threw us out
Just because we joined them in the Chorus.
Chorus: Toddling home.... at early morning
Toddling home... the rain was pouring
And as we all went marching down every street and lane
We couldn't find the number, so we started off again
Everyone... for home was yearning
Knocking the doors.... at every turning
So I got hold of Johnson's hand
And he got hold of Brown
Sang 'Ring-a-ring o' roses' then we all fell down.
I quickly stood my pals against a lamppost
Just to see if all of us were there
Johnson he was missing, he was fairly off his head
He'd crawled inside a dustbin, as he thought he was in bed
We met Italians selling hot potatoes
I got them in a line to stand before us
We gave them 'bobs' to sing, little bits of 'Lohengrin'
So that we could join them in the Chorus.
Chorus:
We walked about till we were quite exhausted
And then we met a gentleman in blue
He was so delighted with the things he saw us do
He said if we would wait awhile, he'd fetch a friend or two
He played a short selection on his whistle
And quickly round our necks some p'lice were clinging
The judge so fat and large said, 'According to the charge,
Am I to understand that you were singing?
Chorus: Toddling home... at early morning
Toddling home... the rain was pouring
And as you all went marching down every street and lane
You couldn't find the number, so you started off again
Everyone... for home was yearning
Knocking the doors.... at every turning
Then you got hold of Johnson's hand
And he got hold of Brown
Now I've got hold of all of you, so all stand down.'
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